A new year. Time to take stock of our lives and decide what we want to change. A time to look back at the year we just survived, see what we did right and what we could do better. A time for reflection. A time to look forward. A time to make resolutions.
My first claim was that I don't need any resolutions. For the most part, my life is pretty great. The only not great things about it involve other peoples' treatment of or attitude toward me. I can't change other people, and gave up trying. I can only control my reaction to their treatment. Since I've already made "Don't engage" a personal mantra, there's not a whole lot else I can do there. My job is changing for the better this year, so that's all good. My health is better than it's ever been, and I'm happily making better choices there. I'm not going to set myself up for failure by trying to do something drastic I don't want to do, so I'm just going to continue the path I'm on. I'm still nowhere close to being ready to date, so I'm happily alone there.
But I was wrong. I do need a resolution, and I'm making one. Before this year is over, I want a BFF. A bestie. One friend who values me above all her other friends, and who I value above all of mine. An Amy Farrah Fowler, if you will, to share my life with me. If you don't understand that reference, it can't be you.
Don't get me wrong, I have great friends. I have a sister who would be (and is) a great bestie, but she's my sister and lives 6 hours away. I have great friends and even some other relatives in my life who love and support me, and are willing to do anything I need. But all of them already have a bestie, so I'm just a friend. I have a ton of male friends, but that won't work. They just don't friend the same way we do. I have a son who my life revolves around, but let's face it, it wouldn't be fair to expect him to fulfill BFF duties. And it would be creepy and possibly bordering on abuse.
I'm not a rookie. I grew up with a bestie. Then I messed up and lost her. I put her in an impossible situation, then thought it was ok to blame her when she made the only choice she could. I was angry for a long time. I thought I was angry at her. Turns out, I was angry at me. But I'm 20 years older now, and I think I've learned my lesson.
So I need a bestie. Apply in person, please. You can have other friends of course, you just can't like them as much as you like me. Being married or in an otherwise stable relationship is a plus, that way I don't have to deal with your dating fiascoes or you wanting me to join in said torture. Having children who rule your world is pretty much required. And the ability to just pop in to my house on a moment's notice is mandatory. You must have a messed up sense of humor, and know the correct there, their, they're to use in all situations. You're expected to know your yours as well. In return, you get me. Happy New Year.
