The following is a list of things I can do without shame or fear that my male coworkers may not be as able to do without being mocked.
1. Drink the flavored coffee. I can buy or make pretty much any flavor of coffee I want. I bring Peppermint Mocha, get French Vanilla from the machine, have even been known to mix the coffee with hot chocolate in a pinch. I drink it proudly. And if anyone does have the nerve to point out the fact that anything other than sugar and cream makes it a "girly drink," I just smile and remind them it's ok for me.
2. Wave. In any manner I choose. I can do excited cheerleader wave, parade wave, fancy lady asking for the check wave, even beauty pageant wave if I want to. I can wave at anybody at any time and it's acceptable. Men really get the shaft on the whole wave thing. If there is a situation where it's alright to wave, they must keep it calm and cool. Preferably with a head nod of some sort. Not a full nod, mind you. just a hint of movement.
3. I can show happiness! My sentences can end with exclamation marks, even when spoken! I can see something that makes me happy, and literally squeal like a little girl, and the only response I usually get is other people joining in my happiness. (This may be expressed by what appears to be them laughing at me, but they aren't. They're just joining in my happiness. Really.) They are always smiling, at least. If a grown man squeals like a little girl, well, I'll just leave that sentence for you to finish yourself.
4. I can also get excited. I can jump up and down. throw my arms in the air, take a victory lap, whatever I want to do! Men are pretty much limited to high fives and, in extreme situations, a belly bump or two. I feel so sorry for them when they win something.
5. Cry. Occasionally, even at work. Let me clarify one thing. I don't cry at work when someone is mean to me, simply because I think that gives them too much power. But if someone dies, gets hurt, loses something or someone important to them, I can cry and get away with it. Movies make me cry. Just about every movie I can think of offhand, really. When Alford left Batman in that one movie? Actual sobs. Lego movie, Hunger Games, Pitch Perfect, LOTR, don't even get me started on Toy Story 3. I will cry. Lately, even NCIS and the Big Bang Theory! And do you know who judges me for this? To my face, at least? Nobody.
6. Giggle. I can giggle, usually inappropriately, at any time. High pitched middle school girl giggles.
I also want to go on record saying I make the exact same hourly wage and commission percentage as my 2 male counterparts. But I also know that, even in the automotive industry, there are traditionally female jobs which do not pay nearly as much as the male held jobs in the same location. I get paid a "man's wage" because I do what has generally been a man's job. This does not mean the pay gap is not real. It is, and it is inexcusable. But maybe drinking the good coffee while waving at you does make it just a little bit easier to accept.
