Rude People

     I seriously have the most inane conversations, especially with people who can't hear me. I find myself saying things, out loud, while driving or sitting at my desk at work, or in a room full of family members who don't hear anything I say. Those who read me already know I am surrounded by rude drivers, cell phone users, and just plain people on a daily basis. So a whole rant just about rude people seems appropriate.

     I don't claim to be Miss Manners. I don't always know proper etiquette in all situations. Not all of us were raised to know which fork to use or what to do in a lot of social situations. For instance, I just last year learned that if anybody in a person's family dies, you are supposed to take them food. My whole life I thought that only applied if the main cook of the family died, and nobody else. In my defense, nobody has ever brought me food over someone else's death. So I never knew. Not my fault, nobody told me! There has also been some controversy about returning dishes. I was told many years ago never to return an empty dish. If someone is nice enough to bring you their leftovers (back in my single days, some of the older ladies I worked with would do this for me) the least you can do is fill the dish back up with some of yours for them, right? But I've known other people who want nothing to do with anyone else's cooking, they just want the dish back clean! I'm still not sure which is "proper," but I'll take the full dish back anytime.

     No, what bothers me is not the little rules that some of us just didn't learn. What bothers me is the big things, the ones everyone should know. You know, the ones we learned back in Kindergarten. Like, if we all stayed in line as well as our children do, life would be so much sweeter. You remember lines, right? They are everywhere: on the roads, at the store, at school (for the kids and the grown ups!) Everywhere! At what age exactly did we forget how they work? I get cut in front of daily! Everywhere! OK, I know you're in a hurry. I get it. But is it my fault? I think not. You don't have to push others out of your way to get where you are going. Really. Kindergartners know: if there is a line, my place is at the end of it! Why is this concept so hard for adults?

     And again, the whole FEEIGM Syndrome comes into play. Why park in the space like everybody else if you can just stop somewhere? I don't care if you'll "only be a minute," you are in everybody else's way, and that is rude. And if you stop in the middle of a crowd of people to talk to somebody else you ran into, you are in the way and blocking everybody else, and that is rude. If you see the sign saying your lane ends a mile ahead but wait until the last possible second to squeeze in with the other lane so you can drive faster, you are holding other people up and that is rude.

     So I guess my whole definition of rude seems to center around not giving a shit about other people. Being self centered is rude. I've been telling my step kids for 10 years now that it is rude to keep people waiting. Every time I say it, they look at me like I'm speaking another language. To be fair, they do have the rudest parents I know, but still! You would think something would sink in after 11 years of having me in their lives! No. I again apologize to Laura Bush, and now have created the Laura Bush Syndrome. This will be when you really really try to teach someone the right way, but they just don't get it. Ever. For instance, if I could figure out a way to get paid minimum wage for all the time I've spent over the years waiting for Cleveland, I would be a millionaire by now. Sitting in a car waiting, sitting in an office or restaurant waiting, standing by the door waiting. And that's just for him!

     I think pattern tardiness is probably my pet rude peeve. What it says to me is that you think your time is more important than my time. It's more important for you to finish doing what you were doing than to do what you were supposed to do with me. Why? Why are you so special? I don't have any heart surgeon friends. It would be OK if they were late. You know, if someone needed an emergency heart surgery, then yeah, that would be more important than me. It would be OK. But really, is looking for your missing shoe more important than me? Waiting for the school bus because you left too late? Or, God forbid, searching the house for your cell phone? (Hint: it may be in the toilet!) No! At least they shouldn't be. I know, it's my fault. I let him get away with it in the beginning, now I'm stuck with it forever. But it still pisses me off.


     I once worked with a guy who did something nice for another guy. The other guy walked away silent, and this one said, very sweetly and nicely, "you're welcome." This guy didn't respond, but he told me that about 80% of the people you say "you're welcome" to will actually get the hint and realize they should have said "thank you." I have tried this, but when I say it, it comes out all sarcastic. Even when I didn't mean it to be. So it doesn't really work for me, but it did work wonders for him. You non sarcastic folks: try it and let me know!


     And what pisses me off even more is the fact that rude people are allowed to be parents! So they can breed more rude people! Where will it end? If a child grows up seeing parents who adhere to the belief that the rules are for everybody else, not them, what kind of grown up will this child become? My guess is another asshole who thinks the rules apply to everyone but them! But here's the problem: if the rules don't actually apply to anybody, what good are they? What's the point? We can all just drive like asses, cut in line, make others' days more inconvenient, and be happy with our little FEEIGM possessing selves the whole time! I'm sorry, this is a band wagon I just cannot get onto. I'm trying like mad to raise my kids to have compassion for other people. To be helpful to others. To see if someone around them is struggling and help if they are. Why does this make me some kind of rarity?

     My kids are great door holders. Really. If they get stuck at the right place at the right time, they can hold a door for hours. But seriously, if there is a door which does not open itself, they will hold it for others. Why? Because it's the polite thing to do. I am constantly amazed, however, at the number of adults who will just walk through the door as if it is my kids' job to hold it open for them! Not a thank you, not a nod and a smile, not even a look up from texting! And it's not the older teen/ young adult set that we kind of expect it from. It's the baby boomers! You know, the "Greatest Generation," who should know how to treat people properly! I am always amazed! I learned when Leroy was little, if you ever want to separate the good people from bad, pay attention to how they treat children. Especially ones who are just learning to wave or say "hi." These are the same people who would completely ignore him when he did either. The "grandparently" looking people would just walk right past. You know who always waved and said "hi" back to him? The teenagers. The Harley dudes. The tattooed freaks. Why? They were polite!

     I know I'm nothing in the big scheme of how the world works. But I would like to make a request: parents, please. Teach your children manners. By example. Don't be rude or self centered in front of them. Teach them that we are all people and deserve basic respect because of it. If this means you have to put down the phone for a few minutes and actually talk to them, then I'm sorry. That's just how it is. Maybe if they see that you aren't that important, they won't think they are the center of the universe, either! I beg you! Pass along What Jill Said in your life! Stop being rude, people! Oh yeah, Thanks!