TXT TLK

     I am the world's worst texter. Mostly because I feel the need to write as close as I can to correctly. I like to capitalize the first words of sentences, and I can't figure out how to do that on my phone. I like to spell the whole word, not just the consonants. I am capable of using what I call "Purple Rain" abbreviations, but that's about it. If you don't understand what "Purple Rain" abbreviations are, you are obviously under 40 years of age or were not a Prince fan. Suffice it to say, when we all got our "Purple Rain" cassette tape (yes, kids, before CD's we had to listen to music on ancient artifacts called cassette tapes) and went to read the lyrics (before we just Googled them) they were written a little differently than previous lyrics. When he wanted to say "for" he used 4, "to" was 2, "you" was U and "are" was R. Now we had seen the R thing before, but only at Toys R Us. He was breaking all the rules, and we all admired him for it.

   Then we invented cell phones. And it wasn't good enough to just be able to call anyone anytime, we decided we want to talk to them without actually having to, you know, talk to them. And texting was born. For those of you too young to remember, in the old days we just had number keys on the phone. So to text "Hi" to somebody, you had to push 4,4, wait a second so it knew you wanted the H, then 4,4,4. So using abbreviations actually made a lot of sense. If you could just hit B4, it was a whole lot easier than spelling the whole word. But now, even I have a qwerty keyboard, and I still carry a "stupid" phone! Can't we all type with our thumbs as if we were typing with our fingers?

    I also have a problem with some of the things we claim to be doing in our texts. Are you really LOL? Because I don't hear you. And ROTFL? Then how would you be able to text that? And how do you get back up? I think we all agree if it were indeed possible to LMAO, we would all be a size 2, so that ain't happening. Now I have to admit, I do admire the simplicity of WTF. But now, people are actually changing this one to WTH, so what's really the point? And it's not confined to texting! We communicate like this in all parts of our life now. I have actually had to "unfriend" people just because I can't understand a word they are typing! Really?
  
 I guess what I'm really trying to say is: OMG people! WTF has happened to R language? IDK what I C nymore! Can we all agree to just type R native language from now on? U no, B4 the txt? IKR? Thx! TTYL!




     Ok, it's been over a month since I posted this, but I have to update with an actual text conversation I just had with the husband. This is why I have no hair.
     Me: (from work) Do we have anything tonight?
     Him: You tell me
(OK this pisses me off, because I'm at work, he's not, why can't he just look at the calendar?)
     Me: U can't look at your book or the calendar that are 15 miles away from me?
     Him: Im not at home
(Notice, no hint of where he is or why he's not at home!)
     Him again: Meet at taco bell. Call us when you close. Or do you want us to do drive through
     Me: Drive thru is cheaper, no drinks. Just have it at home.
     Him: The usual for everybody plus whatever you want
(Are you seeing the problem here? Call US, do you wnt US to drive through.)
     Me: Oh. When you said do you want us to do drive thru I thought you meant you. I did not realize you meant I am supposed to do drive thru. Usual for everybody includes who in the everybody?
(They see the visitation schedule as more of a suggestion. Or bird cage lining. I never have any idea who is at my house at any given moment.)
     Him: Hard for me to do drive thru when I don't know when you'll be home.
     Me: Here's a thought: try answering the questions you are asked when texting!
     Him: (he sends me a list of people to order for. Finally.)
     He should really be thankful I'm not a violent person! That was exhausting! PS, I still don't know where he is!